Here's the truth about bedtime boundaries...
THEY'RE SO HARD.
I get it. It's 8pm. You're done with a capital D. And when you tell you child the books are finished for tonight, they flip out and beg for more. And in an effort to just keep the peace, you suck it up and read one more. Seems harmless, right?
The trouble is...it snowballs. A few minutes later, it's time for you to say goodnight and leave the room. Only now that same child is begging for more milk. And more back scratches. And for you to spend the next 3-5 business days lying with them until they finally fall asleep. And because this happens EVERY FREAKING NIGHT and your capacity for handling the child's protest is shot, you give in and just do what she wants most of the time.
Before you know it, you realize you've lost all sense of control over bedtime. You're no longer in charge - the 30-pounder in Cocomelon pajamas has morphed into a tiny dictator and you're wondering where it all went wrong.
Friend, lean in. You're not a bad parent if this is your reality.
But also, it's time for a change!
Here's the thing about boundaries: they require us as parents and caregivers to embody our authority and use our voice. This is something not all of us grew up believing was okay. Many of us were told we talk too much, are too loud, or we needed to be seen and not heard. And fighting through those messages as adults can feel...well, messy.
But at the end of the day, we HAVE TO step into our authority. Kids who grow up without authoritative parents and clear boundaries grow up believing they're in charge...and that's truly a place no child wants to be. Even your child with that iron-clad will deeply longs for a steady leader to guide them in life.
So, reframe this with me...
Boundaries are NOT punishment - they teach mutual respect.
Boundaries are NOT mean - predictability helps a child feel safe and secure.
Inconsistent boundaries are NOT effective - if 1+1 doesn't always equal 2, we can't expect a child to make sense of their world.
Boundaries are NOT about compliance - they are about what YOU as the caregiver will do to ensure the child's health, safety, and order in the home.
If you struggle with boundaries, stay tuned for an invitation to my FREE "Better Boundaries" Masterclass happening SOON!
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