Is there anything worse than hearing those initial grunts and whimpers on the monitor, only to glance at the clock and see that it's once again not even 6am?
After working with thousands of families, I can tell you this is one of the top three issues that people make consultation requests to discuss. And the vast majority of the time, we can figure out the root cause is one of three primary things: a sleep pressure, problem, unrealistic parental expectations, or readiness for a nap transition.
Sleep pressure refers to the drive to sleep that your child is building throughout the day. We can optimize this drive by getting our child the right amount of daytime sleep and establishing a routine that is in line respects their age-appropriate wake windows.
For example, a preschooler who takes a nap until 4 PM will likely not be ready for bedtime at 7 PM. This is a sleep pressure problem. The child is not being bad or defiant by refusing to go to sleep at 7 PM after that late nap - it is truly their biological sleep drive that’s off here!
Adding to that are unrealistic sleep expectations. As your child gets older, their sleep needs decrease. So if you are expecting a four year-old and a one-year-old to nap and sleep overnight on the same schedule, that’s the issue. Your preschooler needs less sleep than your toddler, so by insisting they both go to bed at the same time, you are shooting yourself in the foot. Most preschoolers will not do more than 10-11 hours overnight, so if you are wanting a 7 PM bedtime and are frustrated by a 5:30 AM wake up, it is probably your expectations that need adjusting. If you are also expecting a nap midday, that can further complicate the issue.
Lastly, I often see early morning risers who are ready to drop a nap. This is very common around eight months when a child typically will drop from three naps to two and again around 15 months when they are ready to drop from two naps to one. The majority of kids will drop their nap entirely between age 3 and 4. Other signs that a nap transition is around the corner include resistance to sleep, false starts, and new overnight waking.
If you need further help with this issue, be sure to stay tuned for my Early Morning Waking podcast episode dropping in November!
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